President Barack Obama has forbidden young ballerinas from practicing for a performance of the Nutcracker, so that he can arrange an interview with MSNBC's Hardball host, Chris Matthews. Obama is expected to promote ObamaCare during the interview and remind ballerinas that they must sign up for insurance or risk facing IRS tax audits in the near future.
Fox News reports that, "American University admitted they dumped Ballet Petite’s two final dress rehearsals so they could host MSNBC’s “Hardball College Tour.” Matthews will be presiding over a one-hour conversation with the man he’s likened to President Kennedy’s last brother, President Abraham Lincoln and Jesus Christ."
Just in case you thought that crime in Dallas was bad, the City of Houston is celebrating International Cheetah Day by permitting local zoo officials to give two cheetahs permission to roam free in the greater public.
According to the Houston Chronicle, "In honor of this day -- meant to raise awareness of the care of big cats from the Houston Zoo -- two male cheetahs from the Houston Zoo visited the Houston Sports Park off Kirby where the Houston Dynamo practice to show off their running skills.
Buddhist monk Ashin Wirathu (aka - Burmese Bin Laden) has launched a terrorist campaign against Muslims. It's the Buddhist Brigade vs. Al Qaeda - and the vegetarian, peace-loving and reincarnated Buddhas are striking fear into the hearts of all radical Islamist militants.
BEIJING: Despite highly-restrictive gun ownership regulations in China, Chinese citizens have discovered the joys of buying guns & ammo on-line and hitting the shooting range to relieve stress.
According to the Global Times, "while strictly illegal, satisfying your gun urges to shoot something is apparently just a click of a mouse away. Clandestine businesses offering home delivery services for some highly-illegal firearms are 'openly operating in China.'"
U.S. Secretary of Defense Chuck Hagel says no more to "Onward Christian soldiers go marching on." In a bid to help radical Islamists seize control of the Pentagon, the former Republican Senator of Nebraska appointed anti-Christian zealot, Mikey Weinstein, to persecute Christians and Jews in the U.S. Armed Forces.
Texas land Commissioner Jerry Patterson has become a hero for Texas oil & gas companies for defending their rights as President Barack Obama wages a 'War on Fossil Fuels.' He declared his support for hydraulic fracturing, or 'fracking' drilling for natural gas.
The United Nations has just e-mailed the Dallas Blog to disclose the international organization struggles with "widespread problems of staff harassment and abuse of power" along with "cruel, inhuman or degrading treatment," according to UNJustice.