A friend of mine, who has a couple of things that politicians might be interested in – access to money and influence, was in Austin not too long ago. He visited the offices of what we will call a middlingly powerful state legislator. In the course of the conversation, he was offered: a contribution for his favorite cause, his choice of several popular brands of adult beverage, and his pick of two very lovely and toned middle-aged lasses, to whom in modern times we refer as lobbyists. He only accepted one beverage.

This story would remain untold except that there are a few men still out there who at least some of the time can avoid the guile in the flashing smile of the professional political lady. The kind, who – along with their long-tenured male handlers, help make our system what it is today. Term limits, anyone – please?

If a long-serving, middlingly powerful state legislator has that much influence with the ladies, imagine how much fun it must be to be an old congressman. No wonder so few retire this side of the grave or a grave scandal.

No doubt, the ladies, who were available for a dinner and polite conversation, were old enough to know the score and young looking enough to play the game. They are symptomatic of the fact that Washington, D.C., has nothing on Austin when it comes to at least two things: corruption and attractive middle-aged women.

Nothing to get too excited about, I guess. Behavior like this is not unknown in political history. It was common in Rome before the barbarians sacked the city and in France right before the mob got out the guillotines. I would like to avoid both of those scenarios.

For the record, I am not opposed to well-preserved ladies; like another of life’s pleasures that benefits from some aging, fine wine, they can make the world a more tolerable place. I am also not accusing our two particular lobbyists of being engaged in the world’s oldest profession, because between them and their legislator buddy they were engaged in something far worse: city building.

I remember when Austin used to be that smallish city off I-35 that you passed through on the way to take the kids to see the Alamo. It hasn’t been that way for some time, and while I know the Michael Dells of the world have had some effect on the growth of the permanent traffic jam that is our state capital, influence peddling is the major reason for Austin’s growth.

Early in the days of the former Republic of Texas, a scrappy little town on Texas’ Indian frontier somehow managed to steal the mantle of capital from the port city of Houston. There might have been a couple of attractive camp followers, er, I mean lobbyists involved in that decision, too – who knows?

To some, Austin is the city that LBJ built. I mean any city in which a modest public school teacher can create a multimillion dollar empire without really sullying his hands in bidness, at least officially, has to be pure heaven for the politically gifted. Not that LBJ had anything on our current crop of public budget entrepreneurs, but a sense of history is important. As Texans we remember the Alamo but we should also remember Billie Sol.

Speaking of fertilizer, it is said that in 1839 our whole government was transferred by oxcart from Houston to what became the City of Austin. That just goes to prove wherever there is government there is also manure, long-tenured politicians and probably camp followers posing as lobbyists.

Paul D. Perry

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