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by Mike Fisher    Sun, Aug 10, 2008, 11:20 PM

A grab-bag of Monday morning donuts to dunk in your coffee:

My Top 10 impressions from the Cowboys' 31-17 preseason-opening loss in San Diego. …

I go one-on-one on with ex-Mavs draftee (turned star in Seattle) Detlef Schrempf as he explains why the Sonics’ move to Oklahoma City might mean NBA basketball in Seattle is dead. …

And below, some of what the Dallas Morning News to get cleaned up if Belo is serious about the blogging biz. … including a key problem: What used to be “Johnny Can’t Read’’ is now “Jacques-Jeany Can’t Write.’’ …

 So. ...

Cuban is analyzing the play of the Cubs.  Magic Johnson is eulogizing the Mavs’ playoff death … 10 months in advance!  Cats are sleeping with dogs, Brett is a Jett, Shan Foster is a Euro, John McCain is exchanging political thoughts with Paris Hilton and the DMNews is turning the whole damn paper into a blog.

It’s a hot box of crazy!



My boy Richie Whitt offers up a biting take on the DMNews’ late-to-the-party attempt to the sports-blog world.  For once, I disagree with Whitt: Better late than continuing to throw rolled-up garbage on citizens’ lawns against their will. D Magazine's FrontBurner is also all up in the DMNews' bloggy face, critiquing their crime coverage. (Having only been thrown in jail once, I'll leave that beat to the experts.)

It’s good business sense for the DMNews to attempt to dominate a world where the likes of DallasBlog is working to gain increased traction, where has bumbled about now for eight years. Belo could, if it wished, crush me like a bug. (Or better, offer me a purchase price on the site and send my white ass off to Bermuda, where it belongs. And I’d do it, too. Don’t dare me.) So welcome to the neighborhood, big boy!

No, the issue is not that somebody like Jean-Jacques Taylor is a Jacques-Jeany-Come-Lately (though Whitt’s “Brilliant’’ scenario is, well, brilliant); the issue is that somebody like Jean-Jacques Taylor can’t write.

Is it OK if I pick on JJT here? I mean, he’s a big deal, he makes big bucks, he’s the lead columnist at one of the country’s pre-eminent sports sections and he was even on “Around The Horn’’ the other day! (Looking dashing, I might add. … if you think men who aren’t good-looking enough to be on TV are “dashing.’’) So he’s paid to take the heat.

And yes, I’ll admit it: The time when JJT chose to respond to questions from his audience about one of my columns and he wrote something about me being not as important as him. … that makes my antenna forever erect. “He used to cover the Cowboys and be a mover and shaker, Taylor opined. “Now, he's … irrelevant.’’

Indeed, if you write for the paper, you are relevant. And if you just blog or something. … hey, wait a minute! Isn’t the whole point of this story that the DMNews “movers and shakers’’ are becoming bloggers?

Of course, no matter what JJT’s assignment, he’s more than just important; he’s self-important.

Plus, he’s correct; I’m just a lil’ ol’ website owner. The Ma-and-Pa store (short a “Ma’’) that’s about to be bulldozed by Belo. To paraphrase Nellie, I’m a pimple on the ass of JJT. (Ick. Gross visual. I take it back. Ick.)

Anyway, here’s the thing: Scroll quickly through JJT’s new blog. There’s no there there. Nothing is actually “written.’’ Rather, it’s all simply lazy links to his own columns and generic takes. (Consider: In consecutive posts, JJT offered that“It’s time for Canty to get paid’’; “it’s time for Josh Howard to grow up.’’ Man, when JJT finds himself a crutch, he friggin’ LIVES on it!)

But here’s what I find most offensive to my sensibilities, especially because it comes from a college-educated man with a journalism-related degree from a major university who has worked 16 years for a prominent newspaper and is now one of the faces of that paper:

JJT can’t write.

In the span of just a few days, JJT has scribbled the following assortment of puzzlers (my fourth-grade-teacher grading in italics):

·         I'm sick and tired of hearing about the Cowboys need a No. 2 receiver. Missing punctuation and words.

·         last night he dissed Ron Washington, when the manager came to get him after he allowed four runs in one-third of an inning. Wrong use of a comma.

·         Zone defenses can slow him down Chris Paul is the best penetrating point guard in the world. Play any zone you want and he can break it down. Deron WIlliams isn't far behind him and each is a better outside shooter than kid. A missing period. A weird capital ‘I.’ And ‘Kidd’ accidently spelled ‘kid.’

·         Maybe, C.J. Wilson will solve his current woes and get the job back. Wrong use of a comma.

·         Did C.J. Wilson really face five batters and allow four runs against the New York Yankees Missing question mark.

·         The same Richie Sexton who as much bat speed as me. “As’’ as in “has.’’ “Me’’ when he should use “I.’’

·         The Dallas Cowboys mysterious Marion Barber Missing possessive punctuation.

·         My question: Which two guys will win the job and why. Fails to take his own hint and use a question mark to end a questioning sentence.

·         I have the names fo the early leaders. I “For’’? Or did he mean the hipster fo’?

·         Hamlin said he watches video 24-7, so that he can makde adjustments  Typo that is hard to miss.

And OK, I’ll stop. I think, in just a few days, we’ve pretty much established the level of what this student is bringing to class. … and I hope he DOESN’T pass it around to the rest of the class. Is this sort of hacky writing contagious? What if this is Journalistic Herpes?

Am I being too harsh? On a fourth-grader? Maybe. On a major-market lead columnist with an army of editors, a mountain of resources and a Swiss bank full of money? Consider that the work he is doing comes while trying to launch a new and important product, at a time when it would be most critical to demonstrate to readers and advertisers – unhappy over the print product – that somebody down there has any sort of a clue.

No. I am not being too harsh. The DMNews is wise to join the trend. But as they attempt to do so, I am trying to help out, by simply stating a fact that is a paraphrase of what so many of America’s fourth-grade teachers already know: Jacques-Jeany Can’t Write.

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written by spinachisgood , August 11, 2008

He cant write but he is the top dawg.
let me 'splain

You ever hear of Affirmative Action?

Funny those that support it have the biggest issue if you thik they got where they got BECAUSE OF IT AND NOT THEIR TALENT YET THEY GO ON SUPPORTING IT.

JJT works for the dying DMN.

That liberal washrag is going down faster than some John Edwards flunky "earning" 100k for "work"

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