T.E. Lawrence observed that Islam is so pervading amongst the Arabs that it is unconscious in some respects. "Their religion is as much a part of nature to them as is sleep or food." Now this may be overstated somewhat today, as so many Arabs and especially Saudis have traveled abroad and have access to TV and the inter-net. On the other hand, as Lawrence rightly concluded, "Their minds work just as ours do, but on [very] different premises." And this is where I think the religion does enter in, as much today as it did during World War I. American assumptions simply do not pertain to Arab society. Arabs do not agree that church and state are inherently separate; rather, they believe religion should be taught in school and promoted by the government. They also believe public morality is based upon the Koran and that it should be enforced by law as a duty to man and to God. They do not believe modernity has to come at the expense of tradition. Moreover, piety is the most admirable characteristic of a person, and (now get this) religious beliefs and practices are valued more highly than freedom per se. For Americans to begin to penetrate this worldview they must first acknowledge it—and it often helps to get in touch with our own piety. Christian piety and Jewish piety are not so far removed as you might think. Adherents to all three religions are "Peoples of the Book" from a Muslim perspective.

One measure of just how poorly Americans relate in the Muslim world today, is the extent to which we have become unfamiliar with our own religious concepts and contents of the Bible, and how diplomats and generals and businesspeople will often express themselves and offer counsel from an entirely secular point of view and approach to life. Indeed, whereas in the West a nation or country tends to take precedence, and then is subdivided in various ways, one of which is by religion; Arabs tend to see not a nation subdivided into religious groups, but a religion subdivided into nations. In this way, Islam is not so much a theological system as a pattern for personal and social conduct based on a religion. Older conceptions in the West are echoic and similar, as with the concept of Christendom, which many from the Middle Ages through the Victorian Age held superior to any given nation state.

Besides religion, other considerations about Arabs are important when trying to gain influence. For instance, rugged individualism doesn’t cut it with the Arabs. The term cowboy has a negative connotation, more so today than ever before—and not only in the Middle East. The point I wish to make, however, is about individualism vs. collectivism. American culture is highly individualistic. Once a kid grows up, he is expected to leave his parents and live on his own. He cleaves to his wife, in other words. They make a family unit distinct and separate. American children today typically do not take care of their parents. In the Arab world individuals see their private interests as bound with that of the group, which takes a priority over any single person. The group protects its members but expects loyalty in return. Arabs do not leave their families when they get married, but often live in the same house and certainly not far away. They generally don’t get married without the parents’ blessing either, and parents often arrange the marriages. Nowadays, young Arabs go to extraordinary lengths to work on their family’s "arrangement" of marriage, to the girl or boy they picked out unbeknownst to the parents! Even so, a male’s loyalty may run to his parents first before that of his spouse. When an American fills out a form for his employer in terms of who to contact in case of an emergency, the American if he is married in 99.9% of cases will list his spouse. An Arab rarely does, but rather lists his father, his brother, his cousin or his friend. Children in Arab society are definitely expected to take care of the parents too, and generally feel a strong sense of responsibility to do so.

Perhaps because of this strong attachment to group, individuals in Arab society also take less risk alone. Perhaps because of strong certainty in the group owing to their religion, individuals also avoid uncertainty. Arabs feel much more uncomfortable than Americans in unstructured situations and tend to feel threatened by uncertainty or ambiguity. Thus they try to avoid these kinds of situations. Closely related is the Arab concept of honor and "saving face." Simply stated, saving face means that neither party in a given interaction should suffer embarrassment. It makes it difficult for an Arab to say "No," if this means being impolite. They are so reluctant to offend, they would rather mislead. Hence, when an Arab says "Yes" it could mean several things: "Yes, I understand you"; not necessarily "Yes I agree" or "Yes I’ll do it." That’s another reason why not to press the Arabs directly, because they will always tell you what you want to hear! A positive response could be nothing more than an expression of goodwill. Westerners have to be disciplined enough to hold back, perceptive enough to read between the lines. What is left unsaid or unwritten may be just as important as what is said or written.

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