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by Mike Fisher    Tue, May 13, 2008, 11:57 am
You'll have to forgive us for bringing this up in the first place. ... But now that Avery Johnson's Ritz-Carlton condo is for sale -- at $2.475 mil more than a similar pad was priced two weeks ago -- it's fair game. So get out your checkbook and let's take a tour!

    Because it was really none of our business. It was none of our business to reveal two weeks ago that Avery Johnson lived at the Ritz-Carlton Hotel in Uptown, none of our business to mention that he resided specifically in Suite 1402, none of our business to note that he has what a friend-of-ours-in-the-know says is the bad-assed’est sound system of all-time, and none of our business to reveal that the pad is worth around $2 mil. (That based on what the suite next door was appraised at.)

    But now that Avery is selling his place – for $4,475,000! – it’s our business.

    What? Maybe we’re shopping for real estate! You think we're gonna live in Mama Fish's basement forever?

    We were first turned on to the fact that “Avery’s Abode’’ is on the market by our pals at D Magazine. From there, the 75-Member Staff went to work, and here you go, the official listing with Ebby Halliday. We must say: We cannot figure out why Ebby and Avery think his $2 mil condo is suddenly worth $4 mil. Avery is leaving the furnishings, but. … there can’t be $2,475,000 worth of couches and mirrors, can there? Maybe Avery The Celebrity thinks his reputation as “a man of honesty and integrity’’ will allow him to pull 2-million-dollars worth of wool over some poor schmuck’s eyes?

   Lemme get this straight: We can buy Suite 1404 for $2 million. ... or we can buy Avery's old place -- and remember, he's what the Realtors call a "motivated seller,'' with no real need or desire to hang out two blocks from the AAC anymore. Plus, we thought this was a "tough market''?

   Anyway, llet’s take a tour! …

   Avery’s living room:


     We hate the ornamental thing hanging from the ceiling, if anybody asks.

     Avery’s other living room:

    Problem: Where are all the TVs, for the film study and the late-night West Coast games, and the WII?

    Avery’s kitchen:

   And finally, scroll back up to the top, and there is the rather tiny master bedroom. (Tiny, befitting The Lil' General?) About the bedroom -- and we say this motivated by the memory of Cliché-vry Johnson – that is where the magic happens.

   An extra $2.475 million worth of magic, apparently.

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