The holidays may be over for you and me, but at least one state is hoping to cash in on your holiday season sometime in 2009.

Last spring, the State of Maine enacted a law allegedly enabling it to claim a portion of unused gift cards. The state deems such funds “unclaimed property” and considers them dormant if they remain unused for two years. The state claims that it has the authority to confiscate and claim 60 percent of gift card value for public use. Indeed, in 2007, the state’s treasurer wrote 40 retailers demanding that they remit any funds owed to the state. The retailers refused, and the matter was referred to the state’s attorney general.

What a fabulous idea. I am all for any proposal that allows the government to amass as much money as possible, even if it means confiscating personal, private property. The government never has enough money to balance its budget, you know, and we certainly can’t expect those legislators to restrain their spending. That is simply asking too much. We must be willing to sacrifice a bit, as patriotic citizens who want the best for our country.

In fact, why stop with gift cards?  I have a sweater in my closet that I haven’t worn in two years. This sweater should no longer be allowed to remain in my possession, even if I purchased it with my own hard-earned money.  The State is within its rights to make me render an accounting of my clothing each year.  All unused clothing should be returned to the public. Surely there is a charity that can use my old clothes.

Hmmm.  I guess that leaves me only a year and a half to get pregnant again if I expect to re-use my maternity clothes. There is no excuse for not using personal property at least once every two years.

The State is also sure to benefit from the furniture that I placed in storage when my husband and I created our daughter’s nursery last spring. That furniture has not been used in nearly 9 months.  If I can’t prove that I have a use for it sometime within the next 15 months, then the State is being perfectly reasonable to ask me to turn it over. I have no right to maintain private property in storage. Someone, somewhere will be able to use that furniture sooner than I can.

Actually, I am pretty sure that I accidentally left a $20 bill in an old purse that I haven’t used in a while. The State is entitled to that money, too. I really must use all personal property, including cash, within a reasonable period of time. It isn’t fair to sit on items that can be useful to someone else.  Now that I think about it, I have a savings account that I opened when I was in college. I don’t know what makes me think that I am entitled to let those funds sit around, virtually unused, for so long.  The State is entitled to that, too.

Gosh, I have many bad habits that need to be broken. I simply can’t continue sitting on personal property without using it for so long. It is very selfish of me, indeed.

It’s a good thing that I don’t live in Maine.

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