It’s been an eventful week for Romo; he’s got a chubby new contract, which leads to a great concept from Robert Wilonsky over at The Dallas Observer: Given Tony’s choice in seductresses, maybe Jerry Jones ought to pay him in $1 bills.

In a jovial mood at Tuesday’s press conference, Romo kidded, “obviously I’m a better person because I have more money.’’

Chimed in a jesting check-writer Jerry in response to a question about Romo’s sudden attractiveness to starlets: “Sometimes they smell the fresh money.’’

And so do those Hollywood wags and Hollywood rags. Romo’s name was on the cover of People last week alongside a huge closeup of Carrie Underwood. He played Guitar Hero the other day with Sophie Bush. (Don’t these boys know anything about wine and roses?) And Britney Spears? Tony’s lucky he didn’t exit LA with a shaved head, a crushed fender and a paternity suit.

Anyway, the top 10 Cowboys-related stories we might be seeing oozing from the Hollywood-based media:

10) Angelina Jolie will travel to to the desolate plains of Burlington, Wisc., to adopt Tony Romo’s parents.

9) Zoom-lens photos detail how Wade Phillips slides off the leather seat of his pickup truck while not wearing underwear.

8) A Cowboys player angrily throws a phone at a hotel concierge. Fortunately, no one is hurt because the Cowboys player is Brad Johnson, the concierge is 20 yards away, and the phone only travels 10 yards.

7) Skip Bayless announces he wants to be an astronaut and go to space with that FAB-u-lous Lance Bass!

6) Jerry Jones’ new nose looks suspiciously like the one Michael Jackson used to have.

5) Lindsay Lohan breaks up with Terrell Owens when she realizes that “popcorn’’ isn’t slang for a new kind of drug.

4) A drunken Mel Gibson spews anti-Semitic remarks. Alan Veingrad sweeps aside his long gray beard and beats the living hell out of Mel Gibson.

3) During the Eagles game, Roy Williams horse-collars Donovan McNabb with such force that the front of McNabb’s shoulder pads and jersey are ripped down, exposing a McNipple. Cowboys equipment managers Bucky Buchanan and Mike McCord will later term the incident a “wardrobe malfunction.’’

2) Tony Romo, having previously “befriended’’ Jessica Simpson, Carrie Underwood, Sophie Bush and Britney Spears, is spotted canoodling in a Chicago nightclub with the only celebrity left to canoodle with. … Oprah Winfrey.

1) “Rowdy’’ is found dead in front of The Viper Club. The official report says he OD’ed on Pepsi and Papa John’s, though it’s possible he was murdered inasmuch as the suspects with motive would include 100 million Cowboys fans.

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