Looking around at the group of professional women gathering in the foyer for the 41^st Annual SMU Women’s Symposium, it occurred to me that I may have wandered into the wrong room. I am here for what I think is going to be a lecture affirming traditional motherhood by Ann Crittenden—her name rings a bell, see-- I distinctly recall hearing the name Crittenden attached to a book about Why Happiness Eludes the Modern Woman – but here is a roomful of, well, modern women, picking up pamphlets and chatting it up with reps from the assorted girl-power organizations with tables here – Planned Parenthood, Women’s Credit Union, Girls, Inc…and I’m wondering what’s up with that. It just doesn’t look like the kind of turnout you’d expect for such a message, unless I missed the memo about The Exhausted and Over-extended Modern Gal Giving Fresh Consideration to the Lure of Domesticity. Alas, I see I’ve mixed up my Crittendens: Danielle is the one with the conservative bent; Ann I’ve never heard of, but her bio here states that she’s an SMU Alum and former financial writer for Newsweek and The New York Times and author of The Price of Motherhood: Why the Most Important Job in the World is Still the Least Valued. What the hey, I am here: and a dead giveaway if I may say so, in my Domestic Bohemian attire – you know, the sort of loosey flowing skirt and flat shoes favored by those for whom hitting the floor to play Candyland is a likelihood over the course of a typical day. I wish I could escape before some feminist outs me and hauls me up there as a cautionary tale: “Ladies!” – Clink clink clink—“I give you the American Homemaker: 20 years behind her professional contemporaries, social zero, future bag lady…”

I’m happy to report that Ann Crittenden challenges my assumptions. She abandoned her 60-hour-a-week grind at The New York Times to stay home with her newborn in the early 1980’s, a move greeted by her colleagues with an attitude encapsulated by one acquaintance’s accidental remark: “Hey, didn’t you used to be Ann Crittenden?”

Apparently she is not here to re-hash the polemics of surrogate child care, but to bring us beyond the Mommy Wars and into more productive territory: to acknowledge the enormity of a mother’s contribution to society and identify initiatives that will promote the enterprise. I’m all over that like butter on a pop-tart.

The economic geek in her reasons that mothers produce this nation’s greatest natural resource – human capital – which accounts for more than half of the wealth – 59% -- of developed nations. Yet college-educated, professional women who choose to stay home with their children are routinely scorned and financially penalized for their decision.

Crittenden highlights a study showing that a college-educated parent who stays home will forfeit about a million dollars in lost professional opportunities. Spouses who spend years caring for family members earn no social security credit. And finally, “Divorce courts don’t have to award compensation for the financial losses suffered by the spouse who primarily cares for the children,” she adds.

Crittenden advocates the creation of “smart policies” that would empower parents to invest more time in their children: 12 month maternity leave, the right to work a 30-hour week, a social security credit for caregivers, tax incentives for single-earner couples.

It’s undoubtedly true that this country does less than any other prosperous nation to provide incentives for family care giving; on the other hand we don’t fork over more than half of our income for inordinate taxation as our European counterparts do. One small-business owner attending the conference commented that health benefits were already eating up her profit margins: to mandate a 12-month maternity leave would simply put her out of business.

Accommodations made according to market considerations stand a better chance of success. Women now comprise fully half of the American workforce: To the degree that businesses suffer a blow to productivity when their intellectual capital steps out to have a baby, employers will innovate if it enhances profitability. Dallas-based retailer The Container Store and accounting firm Deloitte, for example, offer flexible and part-time scheduling with benefits because doing so attracts and retains high talent women.

This is what women want: recognition that their career paths ought not to resemble the steady, upward trajectory of the male archetype: anticipate a dog-leg, and be at peace.

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