| WEEKEND WRAP-UP - IN ADVANCE! by The Fish |
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| by Mike Fisher | Sat, Feb 18, 2006, 04:20 AM |
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Your sports weekend will not be complete unless you soak up the following knowledge. ... ITEM: Listen, I love Dirk. "The UberMan,'' you know? But has Eddie Sefko gone a bit far with his assertion that Dirk has "revolutionized'' the game? "Revolutionized''? That's what the DMN said this weekend, putting Dirk on a "revolutionary'' level with Wilt and The Big 0. Weirdest quote in the DMN "Dirk has revolutionized his position'' story comes from Mark Cuban. His quote is the first in the article, and therefore sort of anchors the article. The quote: "I don't know if I'd say he's revolutionized it.'' Listen, I love Dirk. "The UberMan,'' you know? But has Eddie Sefko gone a bit far with his assertion that "Revolutionized''? That's what the DMN said this weekend, putting Dirk on a "revolutionary'' level with Wilt and The Big 0. Weirdest quote in the DMN "Dirk has revolutionized his position'' story comes from Mark Cuban. His quote is the first in the article, and therefore sort of anchors the article. The quote: "I don't know if I'd say he's revolutionized it.''
ITEM: I can't decide which is the most shocking aspect of the latest tale of Texas politics. Is it: I can't decide which is the most shocking aspect of the latest tale of Texas politics. Is it:
Now, your typical internet hack will try to get cheeky here, and will make a "Brokeback Mountain'' reference. That, of course, is for amateur cheeky hacks. Around here, we're classy enough to know the true and original identity of Joe Buck and to make "Midnight Cowboy'' jokes. Or at least to make Fred Garvin jokes. ITEM: The Cowboys' defensive staff is now complete -- and, I suppose, wouldn't have been complete had the club not found a way to add another "Parcells Guy.'' The Cowboys' defensive staff is now complete -- and, I suppose, wouldn't have been complete had the club not found a way to add another "Parcells Guy.''On Wednesday, Dallas added Vincent Brown to the coaching staff. Brown's playing credentials are sound; he was an eight-year NFL veteran linebacker who played under Parcells and spent his entire career as a Patriot. Brown will take over the responsibility of coaching the Cowboys middle linebackers, working under Paul Pasqualoni, the linebackers coach. To be fair, Brown's coaching credentials are, um. ... well, you be the judge: For the past four years, Brown has been working as an assistant football coach at Meadowcreek High School in Norcross, GA. Here's hoping Vincent can make the leap from coaching games at places like Meadowcreek High to places like The Meadowlands, New Jersey. ITEM: I've covered a couple of Pro Bowls, so I understand how lolly-gaggy the how event is supposed to be. Players certainly aren't expected to clock one another. It's a gentleman's-agreement sort of thing. Still, as sympathetic as I am to the fact that AFC receiver Rod Smith is probably just now catching his breath, I kind of like the fact that Roy Williams didn't get (or adhere to) the lolly-gaggy memo. I've covered a couple of Pro Bowls, so I understand how lolly-gaggy the how event is supposed to be. Players certainly aren't expected to clock one another. It's a gentleman's-agreement sort of thing. Still, as sympathetic as I am to the fact that AFC receiver Rod Smith is probably just now catching his breath, I kind of like the fact that Roy Williams didn't get (or adhere to) the lolly-gaggy memo.ITEM: No, this 12th Man Cheap Shot is not directed at Texas A&M, whcih came off as a bit snippy for its legal position regarding the Seahawks' stolen 12th Man theme. This 12th Man cheap shot is instead directed at the Seahawks fans themselves.
ITEM: I've made the point for a couple of years now that Bill has his media favorites, that he feeds those people, that none of them are based in Dallas (thus none of the beat writers in D/FW have any true access to him or insight from him and that if you want to know what's going on with Parcells, you have to read Chris Mortensen and Peter King. I've made the point for a couple of years now that Bill has his media favorites, that he feeds those people, that none of them are based in Dallas (thus none of the beat writers in D/FW have any true access to him or insight from him and that if you want to know what's going on with Parcells, you have to read Chris Mortensen and Peter King.Exhibit No. 1 million: Peter reports that he caught Bill in a teary-eyed moment.
ITEM: Team USA loses to the Latvian hockey team at the Winter Olympics. Hey, check the archives: I believe I said something MONTHS ago about how good I thought Latvia was going to be this year. Team USA loses to the Latvian hockey team at the Winter Olympics. Hey, check the archives: I believe I said something MONTHS ago about how good I thought Latvia was going to be this year.
ITEM: Because of my career choice, I happen to care. How the networks choose their broadcast teams, how the personalities mesh, the behind-the-scenes intrigue -- I dig all of it. But I sense that the average fan could not care less whether Mike Tirico is going to do ESPN's Monday Night Football or whether Al Michaels skipped out of his contract to move to NBC's Sunday Night Football or whether James Brown is leaving Fox to work for CBS. I believe, to paraphrase Jerry Seinfeld, that you "cheer for the laundry.'' That is, you cheer for the uniforms, whomever is inside of them. You watch for the uniforms.
ITEM: So Art Shell is back coaching the Raiders, mostly because an army of other more viable candidates turned down Al Davis. I suppose it is progress, in a sense: a black man is now in the "good ol' boy network''? And from another angle: Isn't this the equivalent of Jerry Jones re-hiring Barry Switzer? ITEM: Can Larry Allen still play football at a high level? I'm dubious. Can Larry Allen bench-press 225 pounds 43 times? That's what he did at the Pro Bowl skills challenge thing, and I'm dumbfounded. Can Larry Allen still play football at a high level? I'm dubious. Can Larry Allen bench-press 225 pounds 43 times? That's what he did at the Pro Bowl skills challenge thing, and I'm dumbfounded.
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