Simon Cowell

For those who watch a little less reality TV than this author, American Idol is a singing competition. Viewers vote on who should win the title "American Idol," but not until the three on-stage judges, Simon Cowell, Paula Abdul, and Randy Jackson have had their say. The fifth season of the show began on the Fox network earlier this month.

Simon offends someone on virtually every episode. He bluntly assesses singers’ performances, and he has no compunction about telling contestants when a performance was "terrible," "just awful," or "hopeless."

In past seasons, some contestants have countered his criticism with such phrases as, "But I’m a good person!" or "Can’t you see that I have a good heart?" Many contestants seem flabbergasted to have their performances criticized so bluntly. Shouldn’t Simon look for a good point in their performance—any good point—to compliment instead? How could he be so "cruel" as to offer a negative assessment? What a dreadful person Simon must be, to be sure!

Such a reaction may be surprising to some of us in older generations, but to much of the younger generation, this logic makes perfect sense. After all, it is a natural outcome of the way in which they have been raised.

We live in a society that, by and large, gives children practically everything they want. Perhaps a parent feels guilty for spending too much time at work. Or maybe a parent didn’t have much when he was growing up, and he wants to give his children all the things he never had. Some parents think that saying "no" to their children will somehow come across as "I don’t love you." Other parents try hard, but are constantly undermined by the too-generous parents of their children’s playmates.

How often have you been in a store and watched some child bully his parent into purchasing a toy? How many children do you know with more electronic gadgets than you would ever have dreamed of owning at their age? Cell phones, iPods, laptops, even brand-new cars . . . the list goes on.

But matters get worse. Not only does our country spoil our children, refusing occasionally to say "no; you don’t need that," but we often refuse to tell children when they succeed or fail. Some educators are strong supporters of "outcome based" education in which simple grades—A, B, C, D, or the dreaded F, in my day—are not always given. Children’s sports games don’t always have "winners" or "losers." Instead, children are supposed to play for the fun of it and parents are supposed to pat their children on the back for their "good effort." Score is not kept.

Indeed, parents, teachers, and society tiptoe around children, sheltering them for so long that the real world must come as a huge, nasty shock.

Naturally, we should praise the good efforts of our children, even when they are on a losing team. They should not have to win games or get straight A’s to earn our love and admiration. But on the flip side, we must also prepare our children to deal with failure and disappointment. How can we prepare them to deal with disappointment if we never let them experience such a sensation in the first place?

Doubtless, experiencing true failure for the first time on national television is no picnic. But the fault is not Simon’s. Simon is simply stating it like it is. When people lack talent, he points it out. If they aren’t trying hard enough, he asks why they are wasting his time. But he is not purely negative, either. When a person turns in an outstanding performance, he is quick to praise. Moreover, it is clear to all that a compliment from Simon is worth a thousand from anyone else—because he only compliments those who deserve it.

American Idol has received much criticism in recent weeks. Critics argue that contestants are humiliated and served up as entertainment for the nation. There is a fair amount of truth in such an observation. On the other hand, perhaps the manner in which this generation of children has been raised accounts for the incredible number of individuals who can’t sing a note, but somehow think that they are the world’s greatest soloist. Or don’t know that it is okay to be the world’s greatest singer.

I can’t sing a single note on-key. But at least I am not afraid to know that about myself. I have my parents to thank for that. Let’s return the favor to the next generation by teaching them how to deal with not only the ups, but also the downs, of life.

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