Lucy Kelleway writes a regular column for the Financial Times. She has a funny article this week in which she gifts the reader "with a stocking full of prizes awarded for stupidity and bad taste in business."

Here are some of her awards:

1. Most pointless and annoying euphemism. The winner is "Happy Holidays!" or anything with either "holiday" or "season" used instead of Christmas. Neither word is suited to this role: holidays are generally taken in the summer, and there are four seasons a year. The reason offices are closed on December 25 is that it is Christmas Day, and if non-Christians are upset by hearing the C-word, they should really try to toughen up a bit.

 

2. Most annoying voicemail message. All voicemail messages are bad, but the message for press inquiries at Microsoft is extra-bad. An insanely cheerful woman’s voice starts off with "Season’s Greetings! Welcome to the voicemail attendant!" The use of the word "attendant" is unfortunate given that the whole point of the voicemail is that it is (regrettably) unattended. She goes on to say: "This is the rapid response team! Unfortunately we cannot take your call right now …"

 

3. Most stupid management course. The most stupid course this year was the one attended by graduates at the Kennedy School at Harvard which had them honk like geese in the name of teamwork.

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